Thanks
Kutlu for the link, i read the whole article and i like it very much. I have already known most of the things in the article, but it is good to see them in one pieces ;) Good luck everyone...
Chemical Formula of Love
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Every reaction in our body, whether or not it can be seen by the eye, has a biochemical trigger. All our emotions and thoughts are linked to biochemical and neurological causes. Same with love. We know that we feel attracted to somebody, sometimes we can justify our attraction, for example because he/she is smart, pretty, nice, trustworthy, etc., sometimes not. It is a proven fact that people are “blinded by beauty”. We love a person because of their beauty; that’s the first thing that attracts us to them. Then other characteristic traits might improve this attraction and turn it into love and attachment.
But what happens after attraction? Well, a process of biochemical mechanisms takes place. One can divide the whole process into three phases: Romance or obsessive love, Desire and Attachment. In these phases hormones and neurotransmitters (little chemical messenger sacs, which transport chemical messages between the nerves) induce the symptoms of love. Some of them function in the romance phase, others in the desire phase.
During the romance phase, our body produces high amounts of dopamin, a neurotransmitter that is important for motivation and causes euphoria. The effects of dopamin are shown in the euphoric behaviour of lovers, who cannot even think properly or rationally about anything. Dopamin makes them sleepless and makes them lose their appetite. An overdose of dopamin might cause hallucinations and meaning underestimation. That’s the case when two lovers think only of love, don’t go to work and just want to stay alone without the rest of the world. In this case, they might underestimate problems, which can severely affect their future.
Adrenalin is also produced in high amounts. It is similar to dopamin and it increases the desire. Adrenalin is normally produced in danger situations or when we are afraid. It declares the “emergency state” in the body. Hearing the phone ringing while waiting for your lover to call increases the adrenalin level. Your heart beats faster, you are confused a little and your blood pressure rises. The same if you see your lover. Another important biochemical factor is serotonin. Serotonin is responsible for mood stimulation. Our body contains 10mg of serotonin. If this concentration sinks, our mood will sink too. A lack in serotonin causes sleep disorders, anxiety, depression and lack of motivation. Besides all these factors there is another essential molecule called the “molecule of love”: beta-phenylethylamine (PEA) or norepinephrine. This makes you feel the euphoria of falling in love.
During the second phase, our body produces other hormones: sex hormones. But the influence of these hormones, especially PEA has a time limit. Its effect may last from three to five years, sometimes for only 18 months. That’s why these feelings of romance and excitement of the romance phase vanish in marriage! Lovers do not feel that attracted to each other as before they married. To understand this fact, you have to read the next lines which tell you about the pathology of love. But in brief, love is like addiction. With time, you need more doses to have the same pleasant feeling. Our brain, the centre that controls the hormone system, has to produce more and more PEA, dopamin, adrenalin, etc. In the course of time we get used to it. We need change! This change means another person to love! That’s why some psychologists say that marriage kills romance and romantic attraction. After that period of time, admiration and attraction leave our mind and body, and attachment lasts. The feeling of comfort with the beloved (as a spouse now) and the feeling of warmth, trustworthiness and understanding makes us attached to that person. The “mad, crazy and chaotic” feeling of love goes away; love itself lasts, maybe forever.
Scientists in the USA wanted to examine the reactions inside our brains when we are in love. In the past, scientists thought that a condition like love, which has enormous effects on the human mind and body, must have a vast reaction space in the brain. Research shows that lovers only use four little parts in their brains when thinking or seeing their lover. Through specific radiation techniques, scientists could mark the parts which are responsible for love. Lovers produce dopamin in high amounts and that’s why they are euphoric. Moreover, scientists in the University of Pisa in Italy examined the effect of serotonin on lovers. They found out that those people who are really and madly in love, lack serotonin. This lack causes depression and mood disorders. Surprisingly, researchers compared between lovers and obsessive compulsive neurotics. They could estimate the relationship between them: both lacked serotonin. This explains why lovers could stay for long hours doing the same thing: thinking of their beloved, watching them, or just talking or holding hands. This is the same as with neurotics, who can stay for a long time doing the same thing repeatedly, like washing their hands or combing their hair.
After reading this, we might ask ourselves whether love might be considered an illness or a weakness? Well, the symptoms of love are pathological; that means they are not normal conditions that are sometimes unpleasant for us. They might also be dysfunctional, which means they prevent us from properly working and functioning in society. I think you’d agree with me that love really prevents you from working “properly”. If you are in love you cannot think rationally, because love “infects” the regions of your brain which are responsible for rational thinking and problem solving. Another fact is that your body, especially in the first days of your “intoxication”, feels idle, and you feel tired. It might be because of lack of sleep or because of the cocktail of hormones inside your body. You try to concentrate but cannot. Well dear, you’ve been infected with love! You can observe this in teenagers writing during their lessons, the name of the person they love, or drawing hearts, flowers and portraits of them in their notebooks. But isn’t this “illness” great? It could motivate you to draw wonderful pictures, write poems or maybe a story about your love. On the other hand, there are teenagers who claim that love has destroyed their lives, but there are also students claiming that after falling in love, their grades have improved. They say that they have learned the true meaning of life.
Well, when does love destroy and when does it motivate? We cannot find an answer to that question because it depends on the person himself. It’s also linked to the social environment and the psychological stability of the teenager. All I want to say is that love could be disastrous and dangerous; this is the case when things get out of control. That’s why you have to try to optimize your feelings. Love is an illness; like other diseases, you can become immune to it.
Some people say love knows no limits; it goes through walls and closed doors. It does not matter how far lovers are, they will love each other no matter what. Well, that’s right guys! In this age of online communication where internet plays a dominant role in almost every home, love through the internet might seem possible, but I believe the strength of the bonding and the feeling of attachment can’t be transported or “downloaded” via internet. Do we really love the person over there? We didn’t see them, maybe we will never be able to see them in real life. All we know about that person is his name, his hobbies, his wishes and we’ve seen a photo of them. That’s all! So what do we really love? The answer is that we love “our imagination”. That means we try to project our deepest wishes on this person. His character traits might help us to take another step towards loving them, but we love them in our fantasies. This is also the case with “regular” love. We project the image we’re looking for on the person we love. We see what we WANT to see. Moreover, our hormones make us blind. That’s why the Egyptian saying goes, the mirror of love is blind!
Well guys, we can see that science has done a great job, going through the path of love, trying to interpret the basics behind our sleeplessness and happiness. Now scientists are trying to understand and analyze these basics in more depth and detail. They found out that chemical molecules called pheromones, which are produced also in our bodies and transported by breath through the air, attract both sexes and carry chemical information to the receptors in our brains. People with dysfunctional pheromones production might stay solo for many years because they can’t communicate with the opposite sex. Nowadays, physicians subscribe sprays or injections to people with a dysfunction like that. And guess what? They become attractive just out of the blue, and there are many of the opposite sex who want to talk, dance and go out with them!
Finally, there is one thing left to mention. Actually, it’s more of an opinion, the opinion of the majority of people who are attracted just by love itself. Although recent researches in this field make singles find their dream lovers and improves the relationship between lovers, there are people who are against these investigations. They want love to be left without any analysis, without any experimentation. They claim that the beauty of love is in its mysteriousness and craziness.
To sum up, I guess we have to accept the spontaneity of love. Leaving it unexplored makes it work! It will not be love if we tried to analyze it part for part, molecule for molecule, but we have to use our scientific knowledge which keeps things from getting out of control.
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